There Is No Place Like Home

The past two weekends have been almost 100% geared towards trying to mentally get back to the states. For two Fridays in a row now, I have spent the night in Kokoland where some of the other volunteers live. Not only do they have wireless internet but they also have cable television. During the week, I do just fine without TV and internet (we can only get free wi-fi at my school and McDonald’s which is about a 15-20 minute walk away and limited to only a few sites). Recently, however, when the weekend rolls around, all I want to do is forget about work, hang out with some great people, lie on a couch, surf the web, and watch some good old American television. It is just so calming and it makes being so far away from home a little less difficult.

What made this weekend’s visit even better was that, when I woke up around 10 am this morning (remember, there is a 7 hour time difference), I actually got to watch the second half of the BC vs. Clemson game. I was SOOOO PUMPED! Even though it was another tough loss, it made me so happy to think about all the amazing times that I have had at Alumni Stadium and how much I miss Boston College. Sure, there were a lot of things that drove me crazy about BC but I wouldn’t trade the friends that I made or the times that we had for anything in the world. It is very weird to think that this is the first year, in who knows how many years, that I haven’t been to at least one Eagles home game. In case it wasn’t clear yet, I miss everyone very much.

This weekend is also shaping up to be the second weekend in a row that I will go to the movie theatre and eat fast food from Carl’s Jr. Last weekend, Sara Morgan (who lives in Kokoland) and I went to see Campaign. Despite being a Friday night, the theatre was almost completely empty (Such a difference from the U.S.). Afterwards, we walked across the street and grabbed a quick bite at Carl’s Jr. before heading back to the house. I’d never had Carl’s Jr. before this year. I actually had my first “$6 Burger” in LA the night before my flight to American Samoa. Since then, I think I’ve eaten there twice. Along with 2 McDonald’s and KFC/Pizza Hut, it is one of the few American fast food implants on the island and it is not all that bad. It is especially great comfort food for whenever I feel homesick.

After all, it is AMERICAN Samoa

While it may sound like I’m struggling, I promise, I’m not. In fact, last Sunday, I went for a two hour solo hike along the mountain ridge that runs behind my village and the surrounding area. It was actually a continuation of the Blunt’s Point trail that I adventured with some of the other volunteers a few weeks back. I don’t normally venture around the island on my own but it was such a wonderful feeling being alone in the natural beauty of the island. I really do love it here, I like what I’m doing, and I know that, someday, I will talk about this place with as much fondness as I do BC. The fact is that everything that I love is at home. My family, my friends, and my fondest memories are all back in the states. No matter where I go, I’m always going to miss my home and, as long as it doesn’t become impossible to be away, there is nothing wrong with that.

We are a Sorry Lot, Indeed

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed" -Albert Einstein

On Wednesday morning, one of my 1^st period students (definitely my favorite class…and, yes, I tell them that on a daily basis) told me, “Mr. Feak, you’re a nice teacher. You don’t yell a lot and you don’t hit us…Why don’t you hit us?”

Realizing that she wasn’t aware that it is against the law, I told her, “I don’t hit students unless they are really bad. If I hit I them when they are only kind of bad, it won’t mean as much when I hit them when they are really bad.” She completely understood my logic.

Yes, corporal punishment does still exist in American Samoa. As a territory of the United States, it is, technically, illegal. However, it is poorly enforced. At my high school, it has, for the most part, been abolished. However, in the home, it is still rather prevalent. A few weeks ago, one mother informed the administration that, if we are going to hit her child, she ask that we avoid his head and just hit his bottom. As serious as this matter is, all I could do was imagine myself taking one of my 200 pound Samoan students and hitting him on the butt, like a baby, in front of the entire class. What a sight that would be. 

Thus far, I have not encountered a case of corporal punishment. But, of course, one hears stories. What I have encountered are the effects of this form of punishment. 

This afternoon, that same 1^st period student, who I had last today because the schedule flips on Tuesdays and Thursdays, asked me, “Mr. Feak, what happened to your hair? It looked so good when I saw you this morning but now it is all messed up.”

With a hint of truth, I sarcastically replied, “It’s because I have to deal with five classes before yours.” To which she knowingly responded, “So, you get mad at them and it makes you mess up your hair. Why do they make you mad?”

            Sounding very disheartened, I replied, “It’s because they just don’t listen.”

             Now, I am fully aware that corporal punishment isn’t the only reason that they don’t listen. I’ve had students in past years who probably don’t even know what corporal punishment means that never listened. Not listening is a fact of being a teenager. My own parents could never understand how I always managed to know when someone was talking about me, no matter where I was in the house; yet, I never heard a word when they were standing right next to me and talking to me.

            The issue with corporal punishment is that it doesn’t really teach children a good lesson and it makes them unable to learn from any other, potentially productive, form of punishment or reasoning.

            I’ve heard older Samoans say things like, “when I was a kid, when I did something wrong, my mom/dad would whack me with a stick and I’d never do it again.”

            I’m always tempted to ask if they really never did it again or if they simply learned not to get caught. I mean, isn’t that what any physical punishment teaches you? If you get caught doing something that you know is bad, you’re going to feel pain. In the mind of an adult, the logical thing to do might be to stop being bad. In the mind of a child, it seems, the logical thing to do is to not get caught.

            This thought process has made my students some of the best liars I have ever seen.

“Why are you late for class?”

“I had to go to the bathroom”; “I forgot my notebook in my other class”; “My teacher made me stay after”; “I was taking a test”. Teacher at my school apparently give A LOT of tests!

“Why aren’t you working on your assignment?”

“We were just talking about the question.”

“Oh, really? what is the question?”

In a voice that clearly has no idea what the question says, “Uh…what are…my..toe…chon..dre-a?”

“I see. So, what is the Samoan word for Mitochondria? Because I didn’t hear you say ‘Mitochondria’ anywhere in your conversation.”

“It’s…uuuuhhh…”

“Get to work.”

            Literally, they will say or do anything to avoid admitting to having done something wrong. For instance, I kept a student after class today because he refused to listen to me. After sitting there for two minutes he wanted to leave. I asked him to tell me why he was there in the first place.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? What did you do?”

“I don’t remember. I have a bad memory.”

“If you want to leave, all you have to do is tell me what you did wrong.”

“I don’t remember. I don’t like answering questions.”

The conversation went on like this for a good five minutes. If it was torturing him as much as it was me, I figured it was punishment enough. Although, I never got a straight answer out of him.

            Of course, I have no idea if this student is physically punished at home and I would never make such an assumption. However, this is precisely the attitude my fellow teachers and I experience constantly. Students don’t understand that, if they simply own up to their mistakes, engage in a conversation where they show some sign of understanding of what they did and why it was bad, things will be a lot easier. They are just so used to being hit without any real explanation of why they shouldn’t being doing what they are doing that all logic seems completely lost on them.

Frankly, I get the occasionally urge to smack a kid in the back of the head too (“A Gibbs” as some of my family members might call it.). Everyone that has ever worked with children probably knows the urge that I’m talking about. Unfortunately, I know my children won’t really learn anything. As difficult as it is, I must continue to use logic. Because I know it’s not completely lost and that, someday, they will understand and they will be better off for it.

Everybody's Lookin' Forward to the Weekend, Weekend

As terrible as it is to work every day of the week just to get a few hours closer to the weekend, that is where I am at the moment. For instance, this past weekend, I spent all of Saturday doing as few strenuous activities as possible. For example, my late morning swim consisted of standing in the water and talking (not to myself, don’t worry). It was so nice to not have to try to remember what I was just lecturing about or check who is taking notes or figure out where my wandering student went. All I had to do was stand there without a care in the world. Luckily, I’m having an inflatable tube sent to me. So, next time, I can just lie there without a care in the world.

            Of course, I love the adventure just as much as the relaxation. On Sunday, a few of the other volunteers, some other pa’alagis (Samoan for “white people” which, according to one of the taxi drivers, literally means the people who “broke through the sky”) who are here on contract with ASTCA (one of the local cell providers), and myself went to the village of Vatia to go hiking. Originally, we had planned to hike Mt. Alava, the most challenging trails on the island. However, we stumbled upon a group that was going to hike a shorter, slightly easier trail that was only recently completed. According to the guide (Yes, the other group had hired a guide), Rory, the path was an old fisherman’s path that the National Parks Department recently cleaned up and added to their list of trails.  

Essentially, the trail took us up a mountain ridge via a winding path and then down the other side by horizontal ladders that acted as steps. It was like walking a really simple maze and then doing a Stairmaster in reverse. Quite the workout.  On the other side of the ridge was a beautiful, rocky beach with a great view of Pola Island (see below). Overall, it was a really awesome adventure and a great weekend.

Then…the school week started. While I can’t say that this was a bad week because there have been some really great moments, the week certainly started off rough. Up until this week, I had been letting my students sit wherever they wanted. At first, it was because they were sitting on the floor so I didn’t really have a good way to enforce the idea of staying in their seats. Then it was because I didn’t have enough chairs to give everyone a seat. I made it a first come, first serve basis. But, when Monday came around and I felt like they were more interested in sitting next to their friends and talking to each other than learning, I had finally had enough. I put the chairs against the wall in a U-shape, assigned students seats away from their friends, and forced the “difficult” students to sit on the floor in front of me. By the end of the day on Tuesday, I finally felt rather confident in my classroom management skills. Every period was participating, listening, and taking notes.

 Then, I went to plug in my computer at the end of the day…only to realize that someone had stolen my charger. While I have had students snag a ruler or a pen in the past, I never in a million years expected them to take anything valuable. That really sent me over the edge. After discussing the matter with the vice principal, who is being extremely helpful in attempting to get the cord returned to me, I went home frustrated and disappointed.

Of course, I did the only logical thing to do when you’re frustrated; I created a quiz and a test (don’t worry, it’s relatively fair). Once those were finished, I tried to go to sleep but it was futile. After putting in all this hard work, getting compensated at a rate of about $2.22/hour, and having so much faith in my students, I couldn’t believe that this is how they would repay me.

The next day, as I told each of class what had happened and asked that, if anyone knew anything, they let me know, I realized that I couldn’t and shouldn’t blame them all for the actions of, at most, a few. Many of them were actually shocked to hear the news, others even offered to buy me a new one. The offer was clearly just a kind gesture but it really is the thought that counts.

Although it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting my charger back anytime soon, I’ve realized that I do have to be more careful with my things. That’s just how it has to be. What’s more, there was a silver lining to this incident. Since I am giving them a formal assessment today, we HAD TO play a review game yesterday. It was actually a lot of fun. My students really got into it and they did fairly well. Let’s hope the test goes just as well.

The Bare Necessities of Life Will Come to You

I’m going to be completely upfront and honest; I spent about 80% of this weekend inside of my house watching movies and reading. I know, I know, I go to this amazing tropical island covered with mountains and surrounded by coral and all I do is sit inside! Trust me, my logic was sound. Not only am I fighting a virus (raspy cough, stuffy nose, tough to breathe. No fun at all.), but the school week was rather difficult. To top it all off, it rained pretty much all week including the weekend so there wasn’t really much to do anyways. Of course, that doesn’t mean that this week was without any good stories.

I haven’t talked about school in a while and that is partially because I’m trying to get my head around it. It seems unfair to try to explain my classes and my students to you before I really understand them myself. Just know that my class sizes have grown to about 10-14 (plus my 19 student reading class) and that my classroom is the worst place in the world. I should explain.

My current classroom, that will probably be my classroom for the rest of the year, was designed as a Chemistry prep room. Yes, as in the place where all the chemicals are supposed to be stored. Although, I’m not sure how they were planning on storing anything in there because, when I moved in, it had nothing more than two doors, white walls and white floors. There were no cabinets or shelves, no white board, and no desks. The first week, I had one student desk that I used for myself while the students sat on the floor; the second week, I got a whiteboard; and this week one of the other science teachers lent me a table and my department head found me 9 plastic chairs (still not enough for my tiny classes and nowhere for the students to write on). Frankly, I’m lucky to have even that because, between all the science teachers in the science building, we have barely enough tables and chairs for one classroom. I’m just grateful that the other teachers are so friendly and willing to share.

To those of you who are astonished that anyone could teach in such conditions, know that it’s not really anyone’s fault and that it gets worse. The reason I say that it’s not anyone’s fault is that we are in a brand new building that, technically, isn’t even finished. There are still two labs that need to be completed (maybe a prep room or two). So, technically, we weren’t supposed to move into the building until October and, thus, none of the equipment has actually arrived (To be honest, no one has actually told us that desks and chairs are on their way. We’re just kind of assuming/hoping that someone is taking care of it. I guess we’ll find out soon.)

Here is where it gets worse. If you noticed, I didn’t mention my room having any windows. After all, what does a prep room need windows for? I mean, it has got glass so that you can see into the classroom but no windows to the outside. Well, the science building is supposed to be air conditioned. Unfortunately, the central air unit needed more power than the out dated power lines could provide. Yes, you guessed it, we’ve been without for a week and a half and my room is filled with hot, stale air. As much as I try to get some air flow by opening the doors, by the end of the day, the room is unbearable.

As I’m sure you’ve surmised, classroom management is a nightmare. I’m constantly bombarded with comments like “Mr. Feak, it’s so hot” and questions like, “can we, please, go sit outside?” Sometimes, I do take them outside but, more often than not, I have to tell them that I know and ask them to sit down and try to do their work. After all, I hate it just as much as they do.  

After a week of that combined with a few unruly students, I was ready for a long weekend.

The first thing I did when I got out of school on Friday was go to the E.R. Like I said, I have a virus. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything worse. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that bad of an experience. I sat in the air-conditioned waiting room for about two hours watching PBS. I’d forgotten how much shows like Arthur and Clifford stress being a good person. Makes me wonder what happens to all of those lessons by the time kids reach high school. Despite my enjoyment of being reminded to not tease people and to not let others take the blame for you, what made me most excited was when an episode of Curious George subtly taught the concept of torque! For those who don’t know what torque is, look it up. While I’m sure it went over the head of every child there as well as any adult who wasn’t in the middle of reading a physics related book (probably everyone other than myself), I was super excited. Hey, it’s the little things in life…Eventually, I did get to see the doctor. He diagnosed it as a virus, gave me some antibiotics just in case, and told me to rest, get lots of water, and stay out of the sun. For the most part, I did.

That night, while my roommate, Beth, went to the East side of the island for the start of an adventurous weekend, my other roommate, Sarah Foley, and I watched The Grey. It was a decent movie but it hit a little too close to home. True, American Samoa is the complete opposite of the frozen tundra. However, most of the dogs on the island that aren’t strays are guard dogs and, if they catch you in their territory, they have been known to attack. They usually back off if you’ve got a big stick or a rock (no spears with flare rounds required), but they can still be pretty scary. Some, however, aren’t nearly that bad. For instance, one puppy, she can’t be more than a few months old, has taken to lying on our front step in the middle of the day. We have named her Rosie. She is very sweet and she loves to be petted. We might even buy her some dog treats.

As for the rest of the weekend, it was spent reading and watching movies. I finished the book I started when I first got here, “The Physics of Superheroes”. I know, physics and comic books, could I get any more nerdy? But it is actually a great book. If you’re like me and love superheroes and science or you just want to learn a little bit of physics without having to listen to a professor drone on and on about Newton’s laws, then this is a perfect book. It’s got a lot of humor and information with very little math.

After I finished that book, Sarah and I watched a mockumentary (Office-style) called Chalk. The film chronicled a year in the life of four high school teachers. It was very well down and both Sarah and I especially enjoyed the story of the first year teacher. I could very easily relate.

Finally, with the rest of my time, I read Jonathan Kozol’s book, “Letters to a Young Teacher”. When I say “rest of my time”, I mean all of it. I finished the book in less than 48 hours. It was amazing. I’ve read Kozol before but this book absolutely takes the cake. A very good friend gave it to me before I left and I’m so glad that she did. It is truly a wonderful book full of wisdom for all. If you are a teacher and haven’t read it, do! If you aren’t a teacher, still read it. You will find some very poignant insight into what it is like to be a teacher and I bet you’ll even learn a thing or two about the reality of the world we live in. Some things still aren’t black AND white.